


The pain in your throat

by 1chocobell



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Depression, Emotional, Eventual Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Not related to in game world, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Sickfic, Slice of Life, Suicide Attempt, college students
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-05 13:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14045316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1chocobell/pseuds/1chocobell
Summary: —When you try your best to hidebut he’ll Always crack that mask of yours“Keep living” he says“I’ll never ever leave you alone”Saihara and ouma , knowing their hidden truth and struggles with life specially their past traumas ..It’s more of a slice of life au where life hurts a little bit too much but who knows how would it end ?





	1. unending circle

**Author's Note:**

> Before you start reading remember this work was written for the writer’s(akame) own pleasure and it’s never perfect so you don’t have to take it seriously ,I just really felt like publishing this one ....  
> please enjoy reading !

 

10 years ago :  
S: “Uncle I’m home”  
saihara got back from school.. the house was dark .. no one was there .. just like always “uncle is coming late again huh..”  
The good boy saihara opened the light and saw the writing on the table  
“ today uncle is coming home late , saihara chan ~ there’s food in the refrigerator eat whenever you want ! You can go to play with Kaede chan if you want , I’ll bring your favorite cake when I come home ok !”  
from his uncle..  
usually he goes off to Kaede his neighbor but today she went out with her friends.. he had to stay alone today .. again  
He went to his room .. threw his small bag in the chair and laid down on his bed  
“ mama .. papa .. “  
saihara looked into the picture of him with his parents holding him they all looked so happy...the tears suddenly started to fall down from his eyes..  
“ *sobs*.. why .. did you leave me *sobs*”  
————————————-  
K: “Shuichi kun !”  
Saihara was dazed off he didn’t notice Kaede’s calling him in the cafeteria  
K: “ are you ok ?”  
She asked because he seemed pale and yes He wasn’t ok he took most of his sweet night trying to solve the case of the missing child , he did this morning and they found him but he couldn’t have time to sleep ..  
S:“I’m fine ,thank you “  
He looked into her face she was worried again.. and as always very beautiful..  
He had a crush on her for a while but she’s his childhood friend so he couldn’t have the courage to tell her  
Not that he would anyway...  
K: “Did you not sleep again? Geez how many times do I have to tell you sleeping is important shuichi kun !!”  
He heard that billions of times yet he still feels happy .. his crush worrying about him like that ...  
s: “ it’s ok I just have one lecture left so I can sleep peacefully when I’m back, thank you “  
He smiled at her with a little embarrassment in his cheeks  
K: “ .... just make sure to do that then .. also “  
She pointed out to the food in front of him  
“ eat”  
S: “Ah... ok”  
He didn’t feel like eating but he just didn’t want her to babysit him for long specially that she ..  
A: “ hello kaede , saihara kun !”  
Here we go ....  
Amami Rantaro kaede’s handsome boyfriend , they’re dating for a while..  
saihara though he’d feel jealous or sad but he was happy for her somehow.. he was happy that she’s happy.. he still doesn’t understand why though , amami is his friend too so he’s happy for them ?  
O: “ saihara chaaaaan~~~”  
Sudden small hands covered saihara’s eyes  
“ who am —-”  
S: “Ouma kun good morning!”  
He immediately disturbed him while his hand are still covering his eyes,because who could have this tiny hands and playful tone other than his troubling friend anyway?  
O: “It’s rude to not let people finish their sentence saihara chan “  
He giggled and took his hands off his eyes allowing him to see  
A: “ that was as cute as always koki “  
O: “Who’re you calling koki ? I’m not playing with you !”  
A: “But my heart wants you !!!”  
He held him close  
O: “ you betrayed my love I can no longer be with you”  
He pushed him away dramatically  
Ouma and amami have those weird conversations alot even though he’s dating kaede...  
k: “You two stop “  
She was laughing at them dancing and making some weird jokes.. don’t they feel embarrassed..  
A: “Blame me for loving this tiny creature?”  
O: “Awah that’s gross amami chan “  
They’re at it again.. saihara sighs  
K: “ well me and Rantaro are going to have a little time together so feel free to stay here until your break is finished!”  
She did it again .. she and amami are doing the (we’re off stay with ouma) every time for some reason ..  
not that he’d mind it though he loves his friend ouma ! Even though he’s a real pain in the ass ..  
S: “Well then do you have time ouma kun ?”  
O: “NO”  
He looked at him with a poker face waiting for him to spell it  
Ouma’s cheek turned a little red , he turned his face saying  
O: “That was a lie..”  
Saihara smiled  
S: “ I knew it”  
It’s always weird that if it’s ouma he’s always happy and excited even though he barely slept yesterday .. wait he actually didn’t!  
Ouma is really cheerful and fun to watch his face is small and cute yet he’s mostly rude to others ..  
before being friends he used to take his hat every time to the point that saihara stopped wearing it  
O:“ you look really beautiful like this “  
He said with a warm smile  
Saihara felt embarrassed but .. he couldn’t bring himself to wear it again anyway..  
————  
They took sometime  
playing stupid weird games that ouma created  
Stopping ouma from bullying keebo  
Stopping maki from almost killing ouma  
It was a long break ...  
S:“ oh it’s time “  
O:“ do you have a lecture?”  
S:“Yes ,you don’t ouma kun?”  
O:“Who knows? I might have and skipped it!”  
Did ouma really skipped his lecture to stay with him ..?  
He blushed a little  
S:“W-well then see you later !”  
O:“Aye ~~~”  
He waved to ouma and went to class  
——————  
The class has finished so does saihara’s long day  
He went home immediately because his uncle promised to eat dinner at home today!  
He was exited it’s been really long since they had dinner.. as a family ..  
he opened the apartment room  
S:“I’m home”  
There’s no one of course  
He saw the letter on the table  
“ uncle... use the phone ...”  
He started to read anyway  
“ sorry I promised I’d be home but I won’t for today , Take a rest and make sure to eat!”  
Again... alone ...  
he’s used to it ..  
his uncle is his only family left but he’s busy.. he’s always busy  
He can’t complain about it  
He’s used to being alone  
Alone..  
suddenly the whole world became gray..  
He felt his chest burning  
“No no not again “  
He tried to cook something he wanted to run  
From these thoughts from this world anything would do just please  
He held an egg but it fell down from his trembling hands  
“What a waste haha”  
He faked a smile he was in pain  
His head started to hurt again  
He can’t breath .. he’s drowning.. in this dark lonely sea ..  
he thought he’d just sleep for today ..  
He ran to his room immediately falling into his bed  
he didn’t even change his clothes  
He was suffocating he felt like drowning  
, drowning in a dark sea with no one ..  
There’s no one  
No one ..  
His tears fell down ..  
“ mother.. father..”  
He held his chest tightly, he cried silently until he could breath again and fell into a deep sleep ..

 

Day 1 end


	2. Let me run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify saihara is having panic attacks because of his depression and it’s getting him more and more each time so whatever I write about “suffocation” or “drowning” it means he had panic attack but this is his thought when he’s having it ..  
> also don’t worry I’ll write about others pov and how did they noticed saihara  
> Please enjoy!!

The alarm was ringing  
“ it’s already morning..”  
Saihara woke up and realized his clothes wrinkled because he slept on them  
Sighs..  
U: “Shuuichi kun ?”  
Saihara’s uncle called him out  
U: “ are you awake?”  
S: “ ah yes !”  
He changed his clothes and got out to see his uncle before leaving again  
S: “ hello uncle, how’s work?”  
U: “Tiring as always my son”  
He sighed  
U: “ you solved the case I gave you right? That really helped thank you Shuuichi!”  
S:“ glad I helped , please rely on me more uncle..”  
U: “ I’ll my son “  
He patted his head, saihara loves his uncle.. no matter how long time passes he still treats him the same as he does when he was a child , even though it’s kind of embarrassing but it’s warm ..  
U: “ you probably didn’t eat yesterday? I made breakfast and I’m not leaving until you’re finished!”  
S: “ Y-yes uncle ,I’m not a child so don’t worry”  
Saihara blushed a little but he immediately remembered yesterday..  
he had a panic attack again..  
it’s getting worse but he doesn’t want to bother anyone so he’s keeping it .. no one would find out anyway  
U: “Shuuichi “  
S: “Yes?”  
U: “You’re not eating “  
S: “ ah sorry I dazed off a little ”  
He wasn’t ok .. in fact he doesn’t remember if he ever was ?  
Ever since his parents pass away he ..  
He tried to cut the thoughts and continue on eating  
U: “Alright Shuuichi I’m off , sorry I cannot promise I’d be home early..”  
S: “It’s ok come back safe uncle “  
He went off and so does saihara  
He have some lectures to attend  
———-  
K: “Yo Shuuichi!!”  
Momota called saihara as he saw him getting out of class  
S: “Kaito kun !!”  
K: “ quick what are you doing lately dude !!”  
That was a weird question to ask but this is momota we’re talking about  
S: “Studying and solving cases..”  
K: “The usual huh .. well today I’d like to change that old man routine of yours !!”  
S: “Old man .... “  
k: “ we’re going to train!! With maki of course “  
S: “ I thought so “  
They used to train a lot when they’re at high school.. they stopped after entering college though..  
K: “It’s ok right?? You don’t have anything after 5 right? “  
S: “Y-Yeah don’t worry I’ll come , thank you kaito kun “  
K: “Great !!”  
He needed to get out actually, he needed a way out of his continuous routine.. maybe he’ll get better if he did ..  
He can’t stay alone if he did he’ll...  
————-  
Saihara was going out of college but as he went through the exist he heard a loud voice coming from the other direction, he couldn’t help his curiosity and walked there to see ouma with his stuff on the ground and in front of him was an old lady with a young man in a black suit  
O: “ I’m telling you I’m not going back old hag “  
The lady :“ stop acting like a child I don’t give a shit about your says !! Until they find that bitch you’re coming with me young boy “  
O: “ I’m not scared of him he can’t lay a finger on—“  
He saw saihara standing in a confusion  
S: “Ah , sorry I was just passing by ..”  
O: “ oh so you came to pick me up darling ~~”  
Saihara was shocked.. d-darling? Pick me up ? What is ouma saying?  
The old lady stared at saihara with confusion  
S: “ I—“  
O: “ alright old fart I’m not letting my adorable boyfriend wait long so ..”  
He collected his stuff very fast and held saihara’s hand  
S: “W-wait ouma kun ??”  
They started to run off  
O: “BYE BYE~~”  
She didn’t follow them though..  
———-  
S: “O-ouma kun ... st-stop.. “  
he wanted to catch some breath ouma was too fast  
O: “ ahaa saihara chan sorry ~  
or should it be you the one to apologize?”  
Crap  
S: “ I’m sorry ouma kun I.. thought there was some trouble and..”  
He looked into him he looked .. happy? Is he faking it ?  
O: “ apology expected ~ but still you’re not allowed to tell anyone about that you know and it’s not a lie “  
S: “ yeah.. I won’t but .. are you ok?”  
O: “ I’m perfect?”  
He was lying.. he always does..  
He knows his friend who never talks if he’s in trouble  
He had always thought of forcing him to but ..  
saihara sat down on a chair.. god he was tired.. is he really becoming an old ma—  
O: “ saihara chan ?”  
S: “ if I ask you what did Just happen.. “  
o: “ I’m not going to answer”  
S: “ I knew it ..”  
O: “ but well the boyfriend part was an act so don’t misunderstand!”  
S: “ I thought so ..”  
He does whatever he pleases ..  
S: “ I wish you could just talk though...”  
O: “ if you’re that curious.. you know I’ve already told you .. you gotta search for the answer “  
He leaned closer to him  
O: “You’re a detective after all “  
Ouma always does this  
It made saihara wish to know him more and more  
But he knows ouma wouldn’t want that .. would he ?  
He sat up  
S: “I’ll walk you to the dorm ouma kun “  
O: “ waah saihara chan is so nice “  
Ouma held his hand .. he was a little embarrassed but he’s used to ouma’s clingy side ..  
S: “Ouma kun .. Don’t forget that I’m your ally ok?”  
He wished so hard he could just talk ..  
Ouma took off his hand from saihara’s which was a little weird..and hide his face with his scarf  
He didn’t say anything he just walked by his side until they reached the dorm  
O: “ saihara chan “  
S: “ yes?”  
He looked at saihara with a red face  
O: “ th- thank you “  
He said that very fast and closed the door immediately before letting saihara respond .. that was cute ..  
He walked off so he could go to kaito’s house he’s probably late  
—————  
K: “ Shuuichi you’re extremely late dude what took you so long ? did you find a cat in the road or something lol”  
S: “ w-well .. something like that .. sorry “  
M: “ it’s ok we were worried is all “  
S: “ sorry ..”  
M: “ do you want to die ? “  
Maki said that but she was smiling a warm smile .. she probably doesn’t want him to apologize..  
K: “ hey Shuuichi you haven’t eat anything have you ?”  
S: “ yeah..”  
K: “ alright then let’s order a pizza !! “  
M: “ we can’t train with an empty stomach after all “  
S: “ good “  
Saihara was happy with his friends he really needed that , they enjoyed their time playing eating until the night came so they finally started to actually train  
M: “ 99..100”  
S: “F-fast as always Harukawa san ..”  
M: “Maki”  
S: “M-maki san”  
K: “The stars are pretty today..”  
S: “ why are you slacking off again..”  
K: “ Shuuichi “  
S: “Yes?”  
K: “ You’re stressing your self again aren’t you ?”  
He froze a little.. no .. he .. was ?  
S: “ what’s that all of the sudden?”  
M: “You look like you’re dying..”  
Death ... just like his parents...  
S: “ w-what are you two talking about I’m really fine !”  
He faked a smile  
No please don’t expose me  
I’m trying my best to hide it  
I’m ok I’m really ok I’ll be  
Just hide me from all those thoughts please  
I’m —  
His breath became heavy  
Oh no not again  
He felt like he was drowning again  
He can’t hear anything  
He closed his eyes he tried to breath he was trembling he was suffering he can’t breath he’s drowning again  
K: “ SHUICHI “  
Maki grabbed his shoulders and he looked into her  
What .. ?  
Why do they look so worried?  
They should just leave him .. M: “ breath !!”  
He cried a little, having them calming him down and telling him to breath made him want to ... He started to breath again little by little and wiped out his tears   
S: “ s-sorry “  
K: “ You’re not ok Shuuichi...”  
S: “ no .. it’s ok .. I’m fine ..”  
K: “Does kaede know about this ?”  
S: “ IM FINE “  
He screamed .. they were shocked.. why is he doing that that’s so dumb..  
s: “ I.. I’m really fine .. “  
k: “Shuuichi...”  
S: “ I .. have to go now .. my uncle is probably waiting..”  
He ran again.. he’s not ok .. those thoughts those unknown feelings that he can’t understand.. he wish he could run ..  
he wanted to run ..  
kaito grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug  
Saihara didn’t say anything he just hugged him back.. he was so warm .. he felt a little bit .. just a little bit .. at ease..  
——————  
“I’m home”  
He was tired.. extremely tired .. he had fun yet .. why did it turn into this ...  
He changed his clothes this time and went to bed  
This night.. somehow.. wasn’t suffocating.. 

 

Day2 end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like 3 exams this week so I thought I should post this chapter early orz  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and support It made me feel so happy:-;  
> Please enjoy my fanfic and remember it’s not perfect so don’t take it seriously..


End file.
